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"I really cared about what other people thought about me and I would go out of the way to make them happy at my own expense. But they would end up doing what they wanted anyway. I kept trying to get over them, like it wasn’t a big deal or I did it wrong: but soon found quickly, I had to get over myself first.

I had to quit trying to control the world around me with a desperate twisted-up death grip. I had to learn that part of love is letting go of other people’s perceptions and just letting them love me on their own. It matters less now what people think of me and just that they think at all. So I started saying ‘no’ more often: because not everything is okay with me and I shouldn’t have to explain myself. My happiness is not contingent on you getting some fake yes-version of me."

423 notes - 29 July, 2014

"

I think about my life before Christ, how I used to live for myself and I would do good to look good and get good back.

I think about how something was always missing then, like I would find a particular interest and it would almost click but the edges wouldn’t catch and they’d just slide off the inside of my heart.

I think of how I objectified humans as blunt weapons for my secret dirty desires and planned out my next crime scene like an elaborate diorama: and all this to avoid the God who would speak to me at 3 am in the darkness when I couldn’t lie to myself about the futility of my deceit. I remember how the ceiling fan would accuse me of guilt with its every cut into the sides of my lying mouth.

I think of those moments when the veil of shallow shadow-living was lifted for a blinding second, and my reality was torn open to the idea of a Creator and how there must be more than just collecting toys to build an empire until I die. It was only a glimpse, but everything else around it would be sterile and insignificant in comparison. I remember the drawstrings of my cold protective fortress being tugged by gentle hands that plunged through my lungs, never too sharp, but just enough to know there was something else about this life that life was not telling me, that a cosmic problem existed with a solution that would click as easily as a key in butter.

I think of how even though I ran from Him — God still literally loved me to death and afflicted my selfish emptiness with a love that cost the blood of His only son.

I asked myself then, “Is it possible to miss someone you never knew about?” Because before I knew Him, I knew Him, and I dearly missed Him, if only in dreams and whispers and longings I could hardly stand to utter. I was terrified to discover that life wasn’t about me. I was scared to find my Maker — but He found me, and now I cannot go back. I don’t ever want to. I cannot imagine any other way without Him, and He does not imagine His story without me.

"
J.S. (via jspark3000)

518 notes - 27 July, 2014

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Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
"Love God and He will enable you to love others even when they disappoint you."
Francine RiversAnd the Shofar Blew (via feellng)

3,719 notes - 27 July, 2014

"Remember that God will never promise anything that He is not able to do. He would not have started His good work in you if He will not finish it. Your God is good and faithful. He is the very definition of consistency. You may be believing in things that you cannot see, but because this faith is anchored in Him, it will surely bear fruit, beloved."
Pam Carbungco, Because it is in Him (via godsradicaldaughter)

388 notes - 27 July, 2014

It’s just been one of those weeks

2 notes - 26 July, 2014

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."
John Lennon (via kushandwizdom)

2,350 notes - 26 July, 2014

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We really don’t know how much God loves us. And how far he can lead us. I just had this day where I could see a bit more how his glory fills the earth and heaven. (These days will never be enough). And it has been a reminder that He rules all things. His greatness knows no end, so our trust in him should knows no end as well. _ Make this song (Oceans) a daily prayer to God take you deeper than your feet could ever wander and your faith and confidence in God will be made stronger.
"Help me be fully present in each moment, beautifully aware of all that You are."

0 notes - 26 July, 2014

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I’m too comfortable where I am

1 note - 25 July, 2014

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